Column draft

When  god created men, he really did not have many expectations. He pictured them all as lumberjacks, living in caves for all of eternity, and grooming earth making it look beautiful. An angel appeared and approached the omnipotent lord what he was trying to achieve.

Hashem (Judaism) replied “I don’t have high hopes for this one but let us see how it turns out. Here is what the features are.”

·        Idiotic sense for danger.

·        Strong body and large amounts of bravado.

·        Powered by food and testosterone

·        1 heart, 2 lung, 4 liter blood engine, with average life of 85 years.

·        All prototypes. ( No two the same)

And so the angel questioned “Where will the new men come from?”

“Like all other animals” Waheguru (Sikhism) replied, “through the fast shipping, insurance protected, top of the line, fleet of storks.”

The angel relaxed and replied “Well at least it is not us delivering, the elephant runs were disastrous, and we lost 30 angels over the Bermuda triangle due to those meddling aliens.”

And the angle retired to the Laz-e-Angel at the end of the office. Allah sat there with his ever-changing form at the redwood table drawing design for how the body would be shaped. Bernard (angel) suggested “Why don’t you just make the man a Humanoid.”

Shiva was exuberated at that idea. Vishnu replied “Bernard you have done it again, come by my office, tommorow3, you have deserved this millennia old bottle of Moet et Chandon.”

Sucellus (Celtic) however had a sudden change of emotion right then and there. “Two arms and legs are only theoretical for mortals Bernard.” Bernard, focusing on the champagne he will receive coolly said “Don’t sweat it; you’re the ruler of the universe.”

And so Zeus, went back to the drawing board, and drew the anatomy of a “man”. It definitely was not the most beautiful thing in the world, but it was a start. The after many fruitless attempts, Ra (Egyptian) choose the form of the young and universally agreed handsome boy named Channing who lived down the block. Anu (Mesopotamian) sat down next to Bernard and showed him the sketch. Bernard replied “It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, other than the Upton women I saw in the magazine a few days ago. And after this Jupiter walked to his large bedroom, and staggered to the bed and without much effort fell into the bed for about a trillisecond, before he fell through the other side completely refreshed in the form of Odin, and ready to begin new day of creation. Today, his plans were creating golf courses.